Of Hearth and Home
Motherhood & Tending A Home That Heals
In the gentle world of the Shire, where hills are round and fires crackle long into the evening, every hobbit hole has a hearth at its center; a glowing invitation to come in, rest, and belong.
As mothers, we are the keepers of such hearths! And what a beautiful, sacred task that is.
Ours may be more metaphorical than fire-lit (though many of us keep candles burning haha), but the warmth we cultivate in our homes is no less real! It is this warmth that roots our children.
In a world that rushes and scrolls and strives, the slow work of homemaking can feel radical. To stop and tend the soul of a space, to build a life rich in ritual and comfort… it’s not just nostalgic, it’s deeply necessary. It is to resist the tyranny of urgency.
For our children, home is more than shelter; it’s where they first learn about love, identity, and peace. The home you create, dear mother, is the first world your children will ever know. Let’s make it a gentle one.
The Atmosphere We Cultivate
Charlotte Mason wrote that “education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life.” I believe the same can be said of motherhood. The atmosphere we create through our presence, our words, and our rhythms shapes far more than we realize! A quiet mug of tea on the table, soft music in the background, a fresh-baked loaf waiting to be sliced, an invitation to sit and cuddle together… these are more than cozy touches. They are signals to our children: You are safe here. You are wanted. Stay awhile. Share your heart with me.
Even our imperfections serve a purpose! When we apologize after losing our temper or invite our children into the messiness of real life, we teach them grace. We model repair in relationships! When we make space for rest, creativity, or holy silence, we show them a rhythm that resists the hurry of the world.
Lately, there’s been a trending term that has struck a chord with many of us: living room kids. These are the children who sprawl across the sofa, leave their socks under the coffee table, and sing loudly from the kitchen. They interrupt adult conversations, want to be close during chores, and treat the entire home as shared space.
For many of us who grew up as bedroom kids (tucked away behind closed doors, trying not to take up too much space), this can be both healing and jarring. We didn’t always feel like we belonged in the shared spaces. We learned to hide, to shrink, to stay quiet.
But these living room kids? As messy and loud as they may be, they are showing us what it looks like to feel safe. Their freedom to simply be, to exist fully, openly, and unapologetically in the heart of the home, is a sign that the atmosphere we’re cultivating is working. They believe the home belongs to them, too. What a beautiful thing!
Tending the Invisible Hearth
Much of a mother’s work is unseen, like coals burning beneath the ashes. The emotional labor of noticing, comforting, and praying over our children’s hearts doesn't often earn applause, but it shapes the soul of a home. Like the hobbits who stored away preserves for winter and swept their front stoops with care, we build a place of belonging one tiny act at a time.
Lighting a candle as the sun sets. Singing while folding laundry. Inviting your child to stir the soup or whisper their worries as you wash dishes side by side. These things seem small, but they are the hearthstones of memory. Years from now, they may forget what curriculum you chose or how clean the playroom was. But they will remember how home felt.
And in doing this slow, intentional homemaking, we are not only shaping their childhoods. We are gently healing our own, too.
Some of us are still learning what it means to belong. We are mothering with empty places inside, places shaped by silence or neglect or the absence of safety. We were the bedroom kids… taught by unspoken rules to retreat, to quiet ourselves, to stop asking for more. Creating a warm, welcoming home now may stir up grief for what we didn’t have. But it can also bring deep healing.
Each time we welcome the joyful chaos of our children in shared spaces, we are offering something we never received. And in doing so, we are re-parenting our inner child alongside the ones in our arms. We are saying, You would have belonged here too.
We are building the kind of home we always dreamed of, where laughter echoes down the hall and no one has to earn their place at the table.
If you need a few ideas, here are 8 simple ways to root your children (and yourself) in love:
Name daily rhythms that create safety: tea time at 3, candle lighting at sunset, a board game after chores. These little rituals become memory anchors!
Invite your children into your real life. Let them stir, sweep, or simply sit beside you. You don’t have to perform, just be together. While it may be more time-consuming to accept their help, we can hone our ability to practice patience while also building skills our children will carry with them into adulthood.
Speak blessing aloud. Tell them often: “I’m so glad you’re mine,” or “You bring light to this house.” Notice the good things they do! Many times we may correct or instruct, but be sure to let them know you see them in the ways they did something well, sacrificed for a sibling, or made something beautiful.
Make space for beauty. Fresh flowers, a tidy shelf, music, or an open window can shift the atmosphere more than we realize! I have found that my kids adore using my record player. They find such delight in selecting a thrifted vinyl to put on in the background as we do school or play, and often choreograph elaborate dances to show us after dinner.
Rest without guilt. Take those five minutes for hot coffee. Read the psalm. You are not lazy for slowing down, you are wise! Tiny moments of respite can help us carry on, as long as we maintain realistic expectations for our hearts that interruptions may happen, and that’s okay!
Apologize and repair. Your honesty teaches them that love isn't about perfection, but presence and grace. After growing up in a home where apologies were rarely uttered and sin was followed with pride, I vowed to always make things right with my children if I sinned against them or was wrong in any way. My hope is that this models humility and reconciliation for their future relationships!
Let God meet you first. Whisper a prayer before you rise, or journal during quiet time. When we are filled, we overflow. Maybe you aren’t in a season to rise above your littles! A morning basket for them while you read the Word may buy you a few sacred moments to connect with the Lord.
Make room for mess and miracles. A lived-in home is a loved-in home. Embrace the imperfections, they’re signs of life!
Nurturing the Gardener Too
We cannot tend the hearts of our children if we forsake our own! Just as a garden needs regular watering and sunlight, so does a mother’s spirit. We tend to be the gardener though, protecting our little plants in the greenhouse until the time is right to be planted outside, hardening them off to wind and sun carefully and slowly before taking them out of their pots.
But we must remember, the gardener needs nurturing too!
It’s easy to pour out endlessly until we’re dry and brittle, but our homes thrive most when we live from overflow. (And this doesn’t have to be extravagant or a time grab to be refreshing!)
So, light a candle just for you. Read a few pages of a book that nourishes your soul, even if it takes you weeks to finish. Step outside in the quiet morning and feel the earth under your feet. Keep a small basket or drawer filled with your own comforts (tea bags, a beloved journal, a sprig of lavender) like a little sanctuary within your reach.
Practice noticing what fills you and what depletes you, and give yourself permission to honor both. Practice the art of noticing your glimmers, the things around you that give life and joy to your daily life!
Ask the Holy Spirit to mother you as you mother your children. Let His presence be your anchor on the hard days and your joy on the good ones. You are not doing this alone! You are being led, held, and shaped, even as you shape the hearts entrusted to you.
Every time we choose rest without productivity, we are teaching our children. When they witness us reading a book, they get a glimpse of the joy and adventure reading will offer them! When we set boundaries with our schedule, they see healthy time management to protect our space. By being kind to ourselves in the day-to-day, they are learning how they can treat themselves and operate from a space of peace.
Rooted and Ready
When children are securely rooted, they can grow upward and outward with confidence. A rooted child knows where home is; not just the place, but the feeling. They know the sound of their mother’s voice at bedtime and the scent of warm cinnamon buns on a rainy day. They are anchored by stories read aloud, prayers whispered over fevered brows, and the quiet rhythms of being truly known.
In the end, it's not the perfection of our homes that matters, but the presence we bring to them. When we mother with intention, when we choose joy in the dailiness, and when we make space for both laughter and learning, we are doing holy work.
Our homes may never be spotless, our routines may shift with the seasons, and our hearts may still carry bruises from the past, but the love we pour out is steady and strong.
Keep tending your hearth, even when the fire feels small. Keep sowing seeds of comfort, connection, and grace. Tuck joy into the corners. Let your home tell your children: You belong here. You are deeply loved.
Because every warm meal, every bedtime song, every whispered prayer… they are not lost. They are being woven into the roots of your children. And those roots will anchor them for life.
You are building more than a home. You’re building a legacy of love. And I see you, in every moment you step forward to try again, the tears you’ve cried in your humanness and worry, and the desperate prayers you’ve cried out. You are doing it, even when it feels impossible!
Motherhood may bring us to the very ends of ourselves, but it certainly can make us look more like Jesus if we welcome the process.
So good!!